Hate Update!

Perhaps you've already read this, World, but Hero likes to follow up: Zidane's sister claims Materazzi called Zidane, the son of Algerian immigrants, a "dirty terrorist." Materazzi responds that he couldn't have said that because "I'm ignorant," adding, "I don't even know the meaning of that word, 'terrorist.'" I'm willing to bet Materazzi doesn't know that Zidane is a Jew, either.

2:35 a.m.: Moments ago, I was awoken by the desperate squeaking of a mouse caught in a glue trap under my fridge. I shuddered in bed for a while listening to it. Then I put on my hiking boots and rubber dish gloves, donned noice-cancelling ear phones, and selected the Band's "Tears of Rage" on the guyPod. I went to the utensil drawer and grabbed some salad tongs. I took a deep breath, leaned down and tonged the glued-up mouse, carried him briskly to the shitter and tossed him in. Wretched fucking fate, mouse.

Tears of rage
Tears of grief
Why must i always be the thief?
Come to me now
You know we're so alone
and life is brief."

Especially for mice. Once again: R.I.P. Kimchee, for all the vermin you presumably ate or chased off while I was sleeping.

I'm Just Going to Give Him a Quick Kiss

School of Hits tells me that Zidane is an Algerian Jew, and I think that's probably the topic of discussion Materazzi (nasty guinea bruiser) used as Topic of Discussion leading to one of the wildest gladiatorial meltdowns caught on tape. Zizou's Fall is an unfortunate asterix to a distinguished career that included one of the best ever goals in club play. However, it offers us an opportunity to appreciate what I've always considered Great Britain's most impacting contributions: The Glasgow Kiss, king of the kinetic arts, the humble Headbutt, unfairly ghettoized in stinking bars in one or more of London's viler "Ends." Zizou deployed an exotic version of the upright headbutt with a crisp flair one would expect from one of the game's greatest finesse players. And if you're thinking it was a cheap shot, just go ahead and try smashing your forehead into some jerkoff's sternum with half as much accuracy. And while you're having a go at that, consider the restraint Zidane showed by not wiping the silly nose right off Materazzi's face. Humble indeed, Mr. Zidane. Here's to you.