The Swaying of the Meats

Dan Dunn is a Wine and Spirits Journalist. He writes a syndicated column called "The Imbiber", and recently authored the elaborately-titled "Nobody likes a Quitter (And Other Reasons to Avoid Rehab): The Loaded Life of An Outlaw Booze Writer". In that sense, Dan Dunn is very much my polar opposite. One night last week Dan and I sat at the Infinity Bar of the Grace Bay Club in the Turks & Caicos with the hotel's General Manager, a felicitous gentleman named Nikeel. Dan braced himself against the bar as Nikeel's barstaff presented him with a tangy parade of literally dozens of martinis, rum punches, mojitos, and various esoteric subspecies thereof. Dan Dunn is a Pro, and he absorbed the booze with well-rehearsed techniques involving sipping, puckering, gargling, breathing rhythmically, and hopping gingerly on his toes like a boxer before the bell.

Then the waiters brought us hors d'ouvres, like the skewered beef filets with cilantro pesto seen above. I ate most of the food as a fog of alcohol, lime, sugar and pulverized mint leaves enveloped Dan Dunn. Through it, I could foretell the rest his evening - Dan Dunn staggers through horrified newlyweds at O Soleil, crashes the VIP room at the Fire & Ice party, lurches onto laps of glowing Caribbean debutantes, somehow emerges from the fog just before dawn and wins $1000 at blackjack in a seedy Caicos casino.

Such is the life of a professional Wine & Spirits Journalist. Good luck in your continued quest to avoid rehab, Dan Dunn.