Mother Nature's Gift Ideas for Sporting Spouse

I'm freezing this week because i don't have a proper winter coat that fits. New York City's winter wind is a particularly brutal kind - unavoidable, swirling with vindiction and misanthropy. Country folks are getting soft, passing briefly from heated house to heated car. A commute to work from Brooklyn means a lonely trudge along an exposed sidewalk, a descent to a frigid, dank subway platform. Malodorous arctic chamber. Spilled coffee freezing on the pantleg. I have Pity for stranded cats and the shivering, dying homeless.

Luckily I don't commute, or else I would most certainly mail-order Cabela's Bridger Mountain Man Coyote Fur Hat. Then I would be shot as fast as a jabbering lunatic on a jet bridge. But when I do leave my house, I bundle up in rags, using an old horse blanket as outerwear.