Rumors from a world I never knew

Because nobody really reads this thing, and few who do really give a crap about open ocean racing, and because I don't know a soul in this race, not a soul - for all of these reasons I feel it's my duty to spread as much toxic, offensive, yet clearly very possibly true gossip as I can about the other racers. This afternoon I had lunch with a Spanish skipper, who told me this: Frenchies Anne Liardet and Karen Leibovici got into a shouting and shoving match during their 1,000 mile qualifier on the Open 60 Roxy II and consequently hate each other and barely even finished the run around Fastnet Rock and when they got back to Normandy Anne fired her and now difficult Karen is without a boat and pushy Anne is without a co-skipper.

Yikes! Tough break, ladies!

And! And, Ellen MacArthur, it is rumored, never really recovered from her circumnavigation, and those around her are worried that she's not mentally fit for solo racing. MacArthur is sharpening her blades and doing a drunken-and-bleeding- Captain-Willard-in-Saigon dance at her hotel in New York City, awaiting the right storm pattern to blow her and her 75-foot abomination clear across to England. If you're interested in taking any action on when precisely E-to-McA jumps off her journey into the heart of a terrible darkness, please email me at mike.guy@gmail.com.

I don't mean to pick on the female skippers. It's just that they're all rich and scary, as well as emasculating and castrating, etc. Except for Servane Escoffier, who is just a peach. (Those interested in gossip etc. about Servane please refer to my other, bluer blog.)